Dubya's Diary - Dear God 9/30

Dear God,

Why did they destroy my bill? And by my own guys. I feel like Cesar being brutalized... Heck, I come up with this socialist-commie plan to save capitalism, sounds non-partisan to me and my own friends stab me in the back? Where are the morals, the values, how could you let this happen? Hey, is this one of those were you are testing me... Cause I was never good at tests, you know...

Dubya's Diary - Dear God 9/28

Maybe if I will tell people it will be less than 700 billion they will accept it. I should maybe not tell them how much. Less always sounds good to people. In the meanwhile I sneaked this defense bill in. God, nobody payed attention, brilliant timing, even if I do say myself. Now it is time to watch that Katie Couric interview with Sarah Palin, I am sure our barracuda did fine.

Dubya's Diary - Dear God 9/16

Dear God, you held to your word that you could be more wicked than I am. When I falsified the information for weapons of mass destruction in the hands of Saddam and made us go to war, I didn't think you could outdo me. But you have done it, my old friend. First you let the deficit grow to unprecedented highs. Then you let everybody buy houses with impossible loans and the housing market crashes. Then you make the FED (the tax payers) bail out the companies that went under because of them being too greedy trading in these impossible loans. So the people end up losing their houses and they will end up having to pay for the greedy people that made them lose their houses. You is bad-ass, my friend. Oh, and thanks for tipping me about Lehman Brothers, AIG, Merrill Lynch and Wamu... I sold my bunch last week.

Dear God 9/15

Dear God. Please let me know what's up with Karl. Did he become a Democrat or something? Or even worse, a commie? Maybe he got a lot of money from Rock Bama, hmm, maybe I can get a piece. I'll give Karl a call when in Texas. Ok, how did it go again? Let's practice some more: Dear fellow Texans, me being one of yours knows the pain you must be feeling by the destruction you see around you caused by Hurricane Katrina- darn! Here I go again, Ike it is, Ike! Ike-Ike-Ike-IKE, you goofball. Oh, God, please help me get the hurricane right tomorrow.

Dear God. 9/14

Al-Qaeda, communists and now those Afghani's again (are they also communists...? They must be, or we wouldn't be killing them. It's hard to remember who we are supposed to kill all the time). I thought we won that Afghani one, though, oh well. I'll ask Dickie, maybe he can also help me with my math assignment... I am sending 8000 troops home and now I need to send some to Afghani-land... Ow, it's hard. Oh, that's right, Dickie organized a trip to Texas, that'll be fun!

Dear God 9/13

God, I am kind of sad today. Why don't they name one of the big Hurricane's after me? I mean, Ike, was he such a great president? And Katrina? She was a one hit wonder for crying out loud. "Walking on sunshine"Pff, horse manure..., singing about sunshine and then get a big hurricane named after you. There ain't no sunshine with a hurricane, I can tell you that! Crazy hurricane naming people.

Dubya

Dear God 9/12

God Darnski, I thought we got rid of the commies some time ago. They keep coming back. Can't you make them go away...? I am listening... Oh well. Anyway if Morales sends our ambassador away, we'll send theirs back to their pitiful country. That'll teach them. And than this Chavez guy, we have got to watch him. I just found out it is HUGO Chavez and not César Chavez, turns out César has been dead for some time and was on the good side (although he reeked of communism somewhat). But than you know all this. Holy Smokes, are all these chicanos called Chavez? Are they just trying to confuse me? Anyway, I am getting my big fence to keep them out... Thanks for that, God.

Dear Diary 09/12

Darn it! Why does this stuff always leak out? Of course I ordered those commando's to smoke out those Al-Qaeda Paki's. And if I didn't, good ole Dickie must have. And double darn! I order the retreat of 8000 troops and they still give me crap that it ain't enough... I am going to hit the sack and maybe do some talking to my old buddy up in the sky, see what he has to say about all of this or... Maybe sneak up on Laura, she seemed in a giddy mood after those two glasses of bubbly...